Jesus wept. Those are probably the most comforting words to me right now. Jesus wept. He wept because he cared for his friend, because he felt that pain of his friends, he wept because while he was still God, he was also human capable of feeling the exact same emotions that we do. This brings me comfort because my God not only knows what I am feeling, but has experienced them in the flesh. That means I am not alone. It is easy to begin to feel alone when things begin to feel overwhelming and heavy.
The last week has been a new place for me to sit, things have been different. Typically the emotions I feel towards what happened are anger, frustration, fear, and being anxious. Those feelings I know, it’s familiar territory and those emotions make sense to me. But my heart has been heavy, filled with sadness, a sense of loss, confusion, hurt, and just deep sorrow. It has built up and seems to be overflowing from me right now. Right now, in this moment, I am telling myself it is okay, that I am allowed to feel this way, that it doesn’t make me weak, and those tears are not wasted. These are some of the things that have put a heaviness on my heart:
A loss of innocence, it was taken from me, it was not my choice.
A loss of security, the world became an unsafe place and feels that way still sometimes.
A loss of choice.
A loss of trust in people.
A loss of energy and time to fear, anxiety, anger, and other emotions.
A loss of control.
A loss of a job that I loved.
All of these things have crossed my mind. There have been others, or thoughts of great sadness as well. But, I write this tonight because I find comfort in knowing that Jesus wept. I find hope in the promise in the book of Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear, from their eyes, and their will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” Not only that, but it is okay for this to be a season or time of weeping, all things have their time. “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) And I have hope that this too will pass. “…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
For the time being I will weep at the feet of my Savior with confidence. “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry.” (Psalm 34:15) If you are in a spot of having a heavy heart, I am weeping with you. But I offer you the same comfort that I know tonight, those tears are not falling on a deaf ear. That sadness is okay and it will pass and some glorious day there will be no more of it. And that is reason enough to praise and take a moment to be thankful that God is my comforter.