This week I learned something that blew my mind. The difference between willfulness and willingness. I thought they were similar. There definitions are close to one another. Willfulness – not accidental, done deliberately. Willingness – the quality or state of being prepared to do something; readiness. They are different approaches that you can take to […]
Read more "Willfulness v Willingness"It has been over a year since I have written on this blog and a lot has happened. There has been so much change and growth that has occurred and I needed to do that in my own space and on my own. I have however, reached a point where I want to begin using […]
Read more "A New Start"I made a decision with my treatment team to stop all medications. Today is day 5 of no medications in my system. Mentally I feel great, and I am coping well, but physically I am struggling. But I have decided to write about this process and part of my journey towards more natural remedies and […]
Read more "Withdrawals"I spent October 2nd-October 15th in the psychiatric hospital. It was a rough journey and I am still dealing with the ramifications of this stay. The reason that I ended up in the hospital was because I was on Vraylar, but my insurance wouldn’t approve it. They said that I needed to “fail” other medications […]
Read more "Let the Fight Begin"It’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake. I tried to sleep, but I was woken up by nightmares of my own trauma. The nightmares I have had tonight are all around gun violence. It was the guy saying that he had a gun, it was laying in the back of the car […]
Read more "Media Self Care"April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. This is a time to talk about the fact that 1 in 6 women, and 1 in 33 men have been raped, or had an attempted rape in their lifetime. This means you know people who have been impacted in this tragic way. I am one of those people. […]
Read more "Stuck Thoughts"This last week I had an experience that was new to me. I was in a group at Divorce Care, and in conversations references were made to individuals who have bipolar and other mental health struggles, in that conversations they used terms such as crazy and cuckoo. They made reference to the psych hospital being […]
Read more "I’m not crazy"I’ve been wrestling a lot this last week with why the response to Kavanaugh’s accuser, Dr. Ford matters. And specifically why it matters to me. The truth is it stirs up emotions and doubts around my own assault. It reminds me of my assault. My newsfeed has been flooded with rape culture and hate. It’s […]
Read more "Why It Matters"To My Ex Husband, It was a year ago today that we were preparing to say “I do” to each other. We were preparing to make a covenant to each other before God. I was anxiously preparing to see you for the first time on that day. It was a busy day of pictures, family, […]
Read more "An Open Letter to my Ex"I am nearing what would have been mine and my ex’s first wedding anniversary. In 13 days that day will arrive. Currently as I look through Facebook it pops up memories of a countdown to the wedding. I look at those memories and my heart fills with sorrow. The struggle lately has been with the […]
Read more "Rejection"
Victim To Conqueror 